The Four Loves: Reflections/劉泓垣

The Four Loves: Reflections 

基礎英文作文2Ac 劉泓垣

    The word love consists of four parts in Greek literature, is storge (affection), philia (friendship), eros (sexual or romantic love), and agape (selfless love).By introducing love, C.S. Lewis, the author of The Four Loves, made a definition and an enlightenment by his experiences to give readers a much more comprehensibility about love. In the following paragraphs, I am going to discuss the context and share the experiences I have learned in The Four Loves.

    Actually, there is a question before starting to talk about The Four Loves, and the question is that what do you think about love? Everyone has his or her own answer about it. About my answer, I think that love is to accompany with the particular persons I love and to have the basic living requirements with them. It is just my thought. However, after reading The Four Loves, I get a different feeling about the simple word, love.

    From the beginning of The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis used the introduction to talk about the basic elements about love. It was Gift-love and Need-love. First, C.S. Lewis considered that Divine love was Gift-love, like the relatedness of the Father and the Son. On the other hand, about Need-love, he didn't consider it was love at first. However, if he thought it was right, it would lead him to the end in puzzles and contradictions.(11-14) Secondly, through nearness to God, like likeness to God or nearness of approach to God, C.S. Lewis made a deeper discussion about Gift-love and Need-love.(15) And in the end, he got a deeper vision on Gift-love and Need-love; moreover, he also used" The highest does not stand without the lowest." from Imitation and the example "A plant must have roots below as well as sunlight above and roots must be grubby." to give his introduction more support and to lead readers to have conception to read the following chapters.(20)

    Next, it is talking about likings and loves for the sub-human. Following the previous chapter about Need-love and Gift-love, in this chapter, there are two basic elements, naturalness and Patriotism. In naturalness, it can be divided into Need-pleasures and Pleasures of Appreciation. About Need-pleasures, there is an example about water. This is a pleasure if you are thirsty and a great one if you are very thirsty. But no one would drink water just for fun.(25-26) On the other hand, about Pleasures of Appreciation, for a thirsty man who was has just drunk off water may say, "By Jove, I wanted that." So may the alcoholic who has just has his "nip." However, the connoisseur after his first sip of the famous claret, may similarly say, "This is a great wine."(28) About the other one, Patriotism, it was discussed on three parts by C.S Lewis. First, it is love of home. As Chesterton says, a man's reasons for not wanting his country to be ruled by foreigners. It is like his reasons for not wanting his house to be burned down.(41) Secondly, it is about particular attitude to one's country's past, like Marathon and Waterloo of C.S Lewis country's.(42) Finally, it is not a sentiment but a belief. A firm, even prosaic belief that our own nation, in sober of fact has long been and still is markedly superior to all others.(44) However, on the lunatic fringe it may shade off into the popular Racialism which Christianity and science equally forbid.(45)

    Third, in the Affection of The Four Loves, it is mentioned that affection can be divided into Need-love and Gift-love. However, no matter which one is, both of them have paradox. Affection is Need-love but what it need is to give and the other is Gift-love, but it needs to be needed.(54) In this chapter, there are two example about Need-love and Gift-love, "King Lear" and "Mrs. Fidget." Both of these two examples, mentioned by C.S. Lewis, were perversions of Affection. Though Affection is "the least discriminating" of loves(54) and "the humblest love," if it is present, causing the happiness,(62) like King Lear and Mrs. Fidget having a wrong perversion of Affection. It will change the explanation of Affection. About my opinion, for parents, they always give their best to their children; but they still have to be needed. Sometimes, many children take that their parents treat them as granted. Some simple words, thanks or appreciate that what you have done, are the normal feedback but the sweetest thing to them. However, though parents love their children for sure, if they misunderstand the meaning of love; in this way, it does not give the real love of affection to their children but adds the pressure on them. It will make the opposite effect.

    Next, about Friendship of The Four Loves, I do not agree some parts what C.S. Lewis mentioned. Friendship is - in a sense - not at all derogatory to it - the least natural of loves; the least instinctive, organic, biological, gregarious and necessary.(88) Lovers seek for privacy. Friendship find this solitude about them, this barrier between them and the herd, whether they want it or not. They would be glad to reduce it. The first two would be glad to find a third.(97) I do not agree these two parts that C.S Lewis mentioned in Friendship of The Four Loves because in my opinion, if friendship is the least necessary, who can give me a reason why people need friends when they have problems. Then, if people have truly friendship, why they will be  solitude and detached from the main group. In my opinion, if a person who has the truly friendship, he or she does not have to worry the solitude that detached from the main group. If he or she has the friendship not companionship, he or she does not be alone. When it comes to companionship and friendship, I have a question about that. If there are two people, one has lots of friends in companionship, and the other has a few friends in friendship. One day, if they are in some problems, who will get help soon and who will have the true friend when they are in difficulties. I think the answer is obvious to know. If someone wants to have the truly friendship, besides with the same traits, he or she has to be sincere to his or her friend. Friendship is the relationships with others interrelated and interdependent. Those who have nothing can share nothing; those who are going to nowhere can have no fellow-travelers. To be sincere to mutually help each other, and the person who gets help must be the same way to you.

    Finally, it is about Eros of The Four Loves, Eros thus wonderfully transforms what is par excellence a Need-pleasure into the most Appreciative of all pleasures. But Eros, a Need, at its most intense, sees the object most intensely as a thing admirable in herself, important far beyond her relation to lover's need.(135-136) Now Eros makes a man really want, not a woman, but one particular woman. In some mysterious but quite indisputable fashion the lover desires the Beloved herself, not the pleasure she can give.(135) From these narrations, in my opinion, love needs to be needed; however, it does not exist on what we need but feel valuable in mind. When couples want to marry to each other, they may feel it is happiness. However, sometimes love is not happiness, it is that they want to be with each other whether it is happiness or not. The sign of the true Eros also contains that suffers unhappiness with the beloved. For it is the very mark of Eros that when he is in us we had rather share unhappiness with the beloved than be happy on any other term.(150) "Better this than parting. Better to be miserable with her than happy without her. Let our hearts break provided they break together" If the voice within us does not say this, it is not the voice of Eros.(150) For a couples, if they are the true Eros, they must face and solve the difficulties that they encounter hand in hand for sure. They do not want to lose each other though the environment surrounding of them is difficult. For couples, if they can live together and share things including happiness or unhappiness, it is the most pleasure for them. Also, it is the strongest energy to support them to go ahead with each other.

    To sum up, after reading The Four Loves from beginning to Eros, I got a new feeling about love. It is more complicate and profound than I think of at first. It is also a strong shock to my cognition of love. Love, including Need-love, Gift-love, Need-pleasure, pleasure of Appreciation, Affection, Friendship, Eros, and so on, is a kind of precious experiences that I learned from The Four Loves. No matter which kind of love is or which thing associated to love is, after reading The Four Loves is a brand new lesson for me to get to know about love much more.