The Four Loves: Reflections/ 鄭學為

The Four Loves: Reflections

進階英文作文 2Ac 鄭學為

When I was young, my parents took good care of me. They gave me everything I need. I didn’t need to worry about everything. According to the book named The Four Loves, this kind of love is called The Need-Love. My love to my parents is based on the need to survive. In other words, this love will fade away until I grow up because I totally have the ability to be on my own, and I don’t actually need my parents any more. But does it mean I will abandon my parents? Of course not! My love to my parents will turn out to be something bigger when I grow up and get more mature. I think it’s a kind of paying back my love to my parents. They treat me and raise me up nicely, and they ask nothing in return. As a good child of my parents, I will and I have to show my appreciation and love in return. So, the Need-Love is lasting, and it turns out to be something stronger.

As the book said, there are many types and ranges of love. There is a sentence from the book “The highest can not stand without the lowest”. Take English as an example, we use adore, like, admire, love and many other words to present our love. Because of the sentence from the book, we can learn that although they all mean love in definition, but show different levels of love and pleasure in each words. When we first meet a person, generally, if this person gives us a good first impression, we may like this person. With more conversations and interactions, we feel more pleasure about this person, and like turns out to be something like adore. In the end, it will turn into to be love. I think all the ideas from the book can be connected with each other. This concept can be connected with The Give-Love, The Need-Love, and so on. If I am a father of a family, I will work for my family because of love. Here are the differences. If I don’t like them, I may be unhappy and unwilling to work, but I will still do my jobs unless some day I can’t tolerate it and run away. If I like my family. I think It will be my honor to work for them, but I think this kind of feeling is not strong enough. It may collapse when I have an argument with my wife because our love is not strong enough. If I love my family very much, no matter what happens, I will always be there for them because that’s true love. It’s just and example to connect the pleasure of love and the type of love. Of course there are still many other options.

I have a simple example to explain the sentence from the book. As the book said “Love ceases to be a demon only when it ceases to be a god”. It’s a very deep sentence and it refers to god. I attended a English speech contest a half year ago. At that time, I never thought to win the contest. I just kept practicing because it was my first time to join this kind of contest. In the end, O won a good prize in the contest. While a few months ago, there was another contest, which is bigger and more difficult to succeed, but I got too proud of myself. I practiced for the prize, not for myself. So, I failed completely. I felt frustrated for many days until I see this sentence. I suddenly realize a purpose can change everything. If my purpose to attend the contest is because of myself, I will practice for more times, and I won’t feel frustrated if I fail. The reason I got upset was because I took the wrong purpose to join the contest. The pride here means the demon, while do it for myself means god. It’s not a sentence only for love affair. I think it can be set in everything if there are two results from different purposes in the situations.

There was time when I was still young. Because I wanted to play with friends, the only time that I would go home was dinner time. When I finished the meal, I went out again. I feel guilty about it because I was given meals where I expected. I did feel the food were delicious and I was full and satisfied, but I just walked out my house immediately after that without show my gratitude. I have to say. Although my parents treat me so nicely, but if I receive their love without appreciation, I should be ashamed of myself. People easily forget something that is very valuable because they get used to it. Maybe some people don’t mind about it, but I think love is you treat me nicely, and I will treat you in the same way. The above examples, you can see that I only received love, but I didn’t pay my love back. It’s just a reminder to me and to everyone. Maybe the love of desire will be satisfied and faded away when someone cures it with what you want. Just remember to be grateful!

As the book implies, everything is based on the destiny. You think you create your own life, but that’s not true. In other words, you are destined to be like this. The choice you make is not a coincidence. You will always choose this path in this space. For example, If your parents die in fire, you may want to become a fire fighter. It’s a matter with reason and result. Let’s talk about the reason. Even though things like this, such an accident, is not an accident. It’s an incident to inspire you to be a fire fighter, but you will never know why destiny wants you to be like this. Maybe it’s better for you or better for this world. You must wonder that why should my parents be sacrificed? I guess it’s just their destiny, too. There are many concepts to explain this. Some says that you have to pay the debts from your former life. So, even you are a good person, and you do a lot of good things, you still have to die in fire. Or you can say it’s a kind of trainings to make you a better person even though you don’t want to be a better person. I read a lot of books to understand more about this kind of knowledge, but there is no correct answer because we are human beings rather than god. I always imagine that there is a person or a higher spirit who knows what the best for earth is and arrange the fate to everyone. When I think in this way, the outrage in my mind will be calmed. Otherwise, I can’t tolerate that there are so many bad things happen in this world.

The book says that the friendship between different sexes will turn out to be love easily, but recently because of my personal experience, I don’t totally agree with that. I think that depends. As a student study in English department, the number of females is more than the number of males. So, generally, all my group members are girls. But after a year, nothing happens. I mean no one likes me, and I don’t like them, either. I just want to be their friends, and I believe they have the same feeling. I think I am a kind of person who knows the real feeling about someone in the moment we first meet. It’s not a super power. It’s just because I am sensitive. I always know who I want to be with, but to my sadness, girls feel different from me. I know that most of girls will like a person after a long-term contact with him. And in Taiwan, girls won’t tell others their feeling easily. Is that my fate or something? I don’t know, but I guess I have to remain single for a while.

Affection is a feeling that your family gives you. For example, it’s a kind of love between your mother and you. In this love, the appearance of you or the work level of you will not change the affection between you and your parents, but I come up with an idea, what if my child is an idiot or a jerk? What will I do? Will I love my child? If the doctor tells that your child has some problems that he or she may lack a leg or a hand, will I and my wife still choose to give birth to this child? If we do that, our family will live a more difficult life, and the fate of this child will certainly be very hard, too. Is it a gift, a destiny or a curse? For me, I don’t want my children to suffer, but I also don’t want to destroy their life. It’s an un solved question, but I think there are reasons for everything, and we always have choice. No one can tell you how things will turn out to be. I guess I have to find it out by myself.

Except for the above questions, I have another question. If my son is a murderer, do I have to protect him or love him? I think there is something that is more important than affection, which is morality. I love my children as long as they are the good guys. If one day, my children commit a crime, I shall not protect my son. And if my son refuses to go to jail, I will put him in jail by myself. I can’t tolerate those who protect their sons even when their sons did something like rape others! How unbelievable! In my mind, those who covers the crime are the criminals, too!

I read the explanation of affection, and I find out that the description of affection is not always true In reality, especially in Taiwan. I can tell because it’s something happens on me. About the equality part, I strongly doubt that if there is anyone can actually do that. Even I think that I can’t do it, too. I may love one child more than my other children. My brother is very smart. He studied very hard, and eventually became a doctor. So, since I was young, I had to tolerate the unfairness between me and my brother. That’s too obvious. I knew that even when I was a kid. My parents always gave my brother whatever he wanted: He wore Nike shoes while I wore Jump shoes. Of course I would be very jealous! How could my parents judge their sons by the grades? I really hope my parents could have treated us equally.

  I wish my children to be independent so that they can take good care of themselves, but I wish they can go home and visit me from time to time because they are my son, and I love them. As the book said, need-love is a love to give. After my job is done, I don’t need to give any more, and then it will turn out to receive. This kind of love will not face an end but a transformation, but it’s not like I request my children to send some money back home. It’s something like I will ve very glad that you give me a call at Father’s Day.